Are You Choosing to See?

18
Nov
2014

Week-Five-Best-Yes

I think I often miss my Best Yes because I am too busy; not open to His whisper and do not allow Him to open my mind to new experiences or to stretch myself.  It is a shame now that I can evaluate it and see.

There is a term I wish I knew more about in my life called “white space” or “margin“.  I am sure you know exactly what I am talking about, that time that is unscheduled.

I think I have some of it but often time my ‘time’ is structured to the point that I cannot allow anything to go outside the schedule.  I wonder how many chances I end up wasting that I may have been able to say YES to?

I loved this line:

“Don’t waste it.  Let it make you aware.  Be an extension of God’s love right now.”

To be honest, as I write here, I am almost tearing up because I feel there are many opportunities I have missed.  So many times I have been too busy to see.

I am thankful I am being made aware now – some areas of my life need to change and what does that look like?

It may mean saying no to more things so I can have time to hear from Him.

It may mean saying Yes to some things that really matter or that I know are my Best Yes.

I am not entirely sure yet, but I am open to change, even though it can be one of the hardest things to do.  Change…. we all say we want it but when it comes down to it, we fight against it.  This line really resonated with me:

“Saying no isn’t an unnecessary rejection.  It’s actually a necessary protection of our Best Yes answers.  We will have a very hard time paying attention to those Best Yes answers if we live lives that are completely spent.”

Oh, how I feel this line was written just for me!  I am in a season where I am feeling spent…. and I know God has me right here to get my attention so that I may be FORCED to make some changes.  He does that sometimes, do you know what I mean?

Being Present

I am often not very present with my family, my friends or even myself.  I am task orientated and can get so focused on completing things that I miss the community and relationship.  I have made improvements, but still have a long way to go.

I think a Best Yes for me might be to read Bob Goff’s  Love Does – I am putting it on my list!  There were many tid-bits that Lysa shared from that book that really resonated with my soul…..I love how God uses people to help us grow!

Do you find yourself looking for big directional signs?

Week Five – The Best Yes

17
Nov
2014

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This week we are talking about avoiding the traps of people pleasing.  I honestly never really thought of myself as a people pleaser, but now that I am examining different areas of my life and why I feel led to say YES to so many, I can see that I fit in as a people pleaser too.

If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.  Galatians 1:10 NLT

This week we are reading Chapters 13-15 of The Best Yes.  

I loved listening to these chapters while I drove back ALONE in my car from doing an essential oils class last week.  It’s not very often, as I know you all can relate, that I am in the car alone with silence enough to do such a marvelous thing!

I went back and re-read the chapters briefly, underlining and highlighting so I can share some key points from my perspective with you all tomorrow.  I love how our discussions on the Facebook page bring in so many different viewpoints and really open up the discussion.  I think about things that were not even on my radar when someone else shares from their heart.  Community is key in getting even more out of a study.  :-)

I was especially touched with this line of the book this week, “Don’t waste it.  Let it make you aware.  be an extension of God’s love right now.”   I want to keep this close to my heart and be used – open to His whispers.

Did you see where our blog, this space is opening up to care for another Compassion child??!!!!  I am thrilled.  Everyone is making a difference, every little bit and I am so thankful I was aware and open to hear His whisper to use this place for that calling.

“We want big directional signs from God.  God just wants us to pay attention.”  pg 170

If you are participating in the extra reading of Proverbs, you’ll want to be sure to read Proverbs 26 – 31.

I will see you back here tomorrow with my thoughts on this weeks reading.  Be sure to hop over to the Facebook page and share in the community!

Expectations, Disappointment and Reality

11
Nov
2014

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I think this week’s reading will really open your eyes to the reality of where we are as moms and women.  At least for me, it has been pivotal in my understanding how I feel I get “trapped” into saying yes so many times, when I know I should say no.

Disappointment is very real in my life and this quote really hit my heart:

“The space between our expectations and our realities is a fertile field, and it’s the perfect place to grow a bumper crop of disappointment.”

To be perfectly authentic and vulnerable to you all…. I struggle with this constant feeling of disappointment because my expectations are not truly understood by me, or I get visions of what something ‘could’ be like and then it is not.  I can see how this all plays out now in my desire to say yes to even those things that are not my Best Yes.

To be even more honest, I feel that in the past six to eight months, I have lived in that space where constant disappointment drains me dry.  I don’t want to be in this place….. I am not a nice person in this place and certainly am not the best me.  Isn’t that what we all truly desire, to be the best ‘us’?

To be the best me, I have to understand what makes me tick, what is missing and where I need to change.  I have realized that using Lysa’s guidelines when determining new opportunities will help me.

What makes an expectation unrealistic? When an opportunity stretches me to a breaking point, it becomes unrealistic.  Usually for me the areas I have to consider are:

*My time.  The schedule required to meet all the demands of this opportunity isn’t in line with the time I have to invest.

*My ability.  I’m not equipped with the necessary skills to carry out the functions of this opportunity.

*My money.  I can’t afford the financial responsibilities that comes along with this opportunity.

*My passion.  The responsibilities of this opportunity evoke a sense of dread instead of fulfillment in my heart.

*My season.  There is something that must take a higher priority during this season of my life, therefore the timing is off for me to take this opportunity.

The Best Yes, pg 243

The one that I identify with the most is My Passion.  I have to say there are several things in my life now that are not fitting in with the passion I once felt, thus draining me and giving me a sense of dread.

How do I fix this?  Prayer and determining how to decline even more opportunities that come my way, which in fact need to be given those small no’s.

“Give the best of who you are to what you’re already committed to.”  pg 123

This little gem is what I am keeping near.  Is that not the type of whisper we all need to hear?  I want to give my best to what I am already committed to, which will mean saying no to many other things that tantalize my interest.

What caught your eye the most in this week’s reading so far?  I would love to hear from you.

Join us over on the Facebook page for more community and sharing

Week Four – The Best Yes

10
Nov
2014

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Last week’s reading really stuck with me, the element of trading things in our life before we add other things as a way to help us determine our Best Yes.  This is certainly an area I need to work on more, as I am better at saying yes to something more and not letting go of something else.

I loved this verse in Chapter Nine

“The choices we make will determine if we end up with the virtue of wisdom or the vice of folly.”

I want to be a woman of wisdom, like the one described in Proverbs 9: 1-6 not the one that is described in Proverbs 9: 13-18.  Things to take with me as I move ahead into our next section of reading.

This week we are reading Chapters 10-12 of The Best Yes.  

We will be exploring expectations – both realistic and unrealistic, the power of the small No (can’t wait to understand that one more) as well as handling those awkward times we have to say No.

I hope as you’ve made your way through the book you’ve become more aware of situations in the past were you’ve accepted responsibilities without truly thinking about them.  Understanding where we have created patterns of behavior that do not help us are important to helping to change the future.   

Many of you have become a bit frustrated that you have not kept up with the reading or sharing on the Private FB group – the book will always be here and you will find the time when it is YOUR Best Yes.  I encourage you to take the time now though and not to miss this time to share together with other women who are traveling this journey with you.  I know the Lord has a blessing in store for you, if you commit.

If you are participating in the extra reading of Proverbs, you’ll want to be sure to read Proverbs 20 – 25.

Announcement:

There was to be a Live Facebook Chat this week, on Thursday at 6:15 PM, but we are having to cancel that chat due to an unexpected scheduling conflict.  Do not worry, we have one more set for the last week of our study and I know it will be fun to reflect on our growth together as a group!

I will see you back here tomorrow with my thoughts on this weeks reading.  Be sure to hop over to the Facebook page and share in the community!

Making the Best Choices

4
Nov
2014

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There is no such thing as a perfect decision.

I need to be reminded of this constantly – how about you?  It’s funny, I used to be more a “go with it” kinda gal, I just made decisions on the fly….and then something happened and I now tend to be more apprehensive and timid in some decision making.

What I’ve learned so far during this study is that I need to make a request to the Lord and then wait and listen.  Truly listen.  Be silent, waiting for direction or some clear indication of what I need to do.  Rather, I will make a request and then hurry along and not really be that fixed on waiting for the direction.  I tend to be an action person…. rarely sitting back and waiting.

It was refreshing for me to read this line:

“As long as you desire to please God with your decisions, no decision you make will be completely awful.”

I think I am fearful the most of making the wrong choice, so I get paralyzed.

This is where I know Lysa’s discussion in Chapter Seven, “Consider the Trade” will help me moving forward.  I need to be realistic with my season of life and what more I can take on.  I have to be willing to let something go in order to take on a new challenge or task.

“If I want to choose a Best Yes, it’s crucial I make room for it first.  Otherwise, a Best Yes can quickly become a stressed yes.”

This quote reminds me of how many experts say you should give up a bad habit, or what can make it easier.  They say that instead of just trying to give it up cold turkey, you should replace it with something else.  So, instead of just giving up diet coke cold turkey… replace it with something that you would enjoy (maybe not as much) but that you can do instead.  This will give you something to do instead of the thing you are trying to give up.  It is almost the same type of process, replacing or trading.

When we look at our days and evaluate our time, we often are book “full.”  So when we want to consider another item on our agenda, we certainly need to realistically decide to “trade” out something.  I know many have discussed on the FB page that we often just keep doing some of the tasks we’ve done for years, just because we’ve done them for years. We don’t really take the time or consideration to know if they are still the “Best Yes” for us now.  

I love the idea of looking at what we have on our plates right now and determining if those decisions we made years ago are still the Best Yes.  

This will be my assignment for myself during the next week.  Breaking apart how I spend my time and determining if those commitments I made years ago, are still right for me today.

Join us over on the Facebook page for more community and sharing