Are YOU on your ‘To-Do’ List?

23
Mar
2015

Self-care-mom

I have been reminded lately of how much my self-care is needed – I must make time for me so I can be the best for others.

Seems that I was doing well on making decisions after going through The Best Yes study we did several months ago, but I truly lack self-care for myself.

I mean, I get up early to have quiet time, which is a BONUS and I just need that – so at leastI get that in.  But I had fallen off caring for myself physically with moving my body.  Exercise was placed on the back burner because there were seemingly other more important things.  In addition, gathering with friends and enjoying my family has fallen off.  I feel the need of completing my to-do list and checking on everyone else more and it is not a good road to be on.

Women are often so busy caring for everyone else’s needs; they don’t have time to care for themselves. They’re drained, sucked dry of emotional, physical and spiritual energy.” –   Kathy Peel

For years women have been fed a bunch of lies making us feel like we need to be sacrificing ourselves for the sake of our families. In fact, if we are not sacrificing ourselves, then we are selfish! I can tell you – if you are sacrificing yourself for your family, both you and your family will end up losing.  I have discovered that, my sense of peace has dwindled and I needed to refocus.

I know if I am struggling – there are others that are as well.  I think a misconception we have with the term self-care is that it needs to be a big grandiose, time consuming venture.

But I think we have it all wrong.

In order to be taking care of yourself in a way that is manageable, we moms need to find things that refresh us in small amounts of time too. It is not all about spending a day at the spa, (although very nice on occasion) the practicality of that is pretty slim that it can happen as often as we would like.

I would like you to take a look at ‘self-care’ from different perspective. Try figuring out what refreshes and refuels you in small time frames. Identify what re-energizes you and carve out time to make it happen, however that looks for you and your day.

Several years ago I started lists on note cards that I kept handy so that I wouldn’t have to think so hard on how to fit this into my day. I broke them down into 5, 15, 30 and even 60 minute time frames. This made it much easier to schedule these “breathers” throughout my day or if I had a spare 5 minutes that I could easily take advantage of that time for myself, rather than letting it slip by.

I encourage you to try it out. You may be surprised at how easy it can be to fit in things that lift you up and help you be better for yourself AND your family.

To get you started creating self-care habits, I have offered up some of my favorite ideas.

5 minutes

Make a cup tea
Light a candle in the area you are working
Sit quietly with your eyes closed
Lay down on the sofa and start the diffuser with some Peace and Calming
Play a favorite song on your IPOD
Read an encouraging verse

15 minutes

Walk around the block
Call a friend
Savor a nice long shower
Journal
Take a book break

30 minutes

Do an exercise DVD
Cut some fresh flowers and arrange them
Take an Epsom Salt Detox bath
Sit and read a book with your child
Do some stretching and deep breathing
Get out and walk the dog

If you need to schedule time in your day to make sure you fit some of these in, then do it.  I just began a hot yoga class and I have to put it on my calendar in order for it to get done the following day.  It is the best thing I have done for myself and my family!

Self-care will not happen by chance, you will need to be intentional and proactive to carve out the time needed to take a little time for you. I know if I put something on my ‘to-do’ list I have a much better chance of it happening. So, starting today…..put “YOU” on your ‘to-do’ list and make it happen. Your family will thank you for it!

Refreshing the Soul with Music

19
Mar
2015

Refreshing-Soul-Music

I need music – every single day!  There is something that just fills my soul with the words, the beat and instruments all put together.  We can often get so rushed that we forget to slow down and enjoy – the simple, the gifted and emotional connection with song.

Here are a few of my favorite finds lately that I wanted to share with you.  Most are worship songs, but there is one here by a favorite artist of mine that I will see in concert on Saturday night (date night!!) and it is certainly meant for that special someone in your life.

If you are viewing in your RSS feed, you will need to click through to view the videos and hear the music.  Make sure you give yourself a few minutes to truly sit down and enjoy the songs.  That is some good self-care!

Tyrone Wells – You’re The One  (from the Album:  Roll with It)

You will need to click here to hear a portion of the song…. it is so new there is no you tube video with the entire song yet – you can listen on amazon or iTunes – scroll down to the song!!  It is so upbeat and fresh – perfect for your honey!

Tyrone Wells – And The Birds Sing   (from the Album:  Metal and Wood)

This will pick up any blue day for sure – just try it!

Matt Maher is one of my ALL TIME favorite worship singers – so powerful in his words and his style just resonates with me.   This is a brand new album and I just got it last night – listened to it while driving my son to school and had to sit parked in the garage to finish it all – so good!

Matt Maher – Because He Lives (Amen)  (from the Album:  Saints and Sinners) 

This song is amazing…. truly…. the words, the voice, the feeling of renewal….. it is more than I could ever say.  Close your eyes and let it sink in.

It Is Well – Kristene DiMarco & Bethel Music  (from the Album:  You Make Me Brave) 

  

Come As You Are – David Crowder  (from the Album:  Neon Steeple)

Enjoy!

If you are looking to find new music, I love my Pandora – it plays constantly in our house, I pick an artist I like and it creates a station and then other similar artists play – this is how I find new music.  Love it!

10 Secrets Every Mom Should Know

29
Jan
2015

10-secrets-for-moms

Trust Your Intuition

My biggest secret tops the list!  So many moms are overwhelmed with trying to fit in everyone else’s advice and afraid of doing the wrong thing.  I get it – it is a constant struggle.  We feel we are under a microscope all the time.  You were given unique gifts as a mother and the intuitive wisdom of moms is not an accident.  I cover this more in my book, “Becoming the Confident Mom You’ve Always Wanted to Be.”

Counting to TEN is okay

Face it – we lose our tempers, unless you have exceptional control and temperament.  I struggle with maintaining my calm when things get a little dicey.  Over time I have learned to ‘stop the train‘, count to ten and then respond to the situation at hand, unless its truly an emergency.  This has been so helpful for me and made for much happier days.

Do-Over’s are Encouraged 

Okay, so I am not the perfect mom so I often will take a “do-over”.  I believe they are totally fine for me as well as my children.  We all mess up and when you have the chance to try again, it helps the learning process and gives opportunity for forgiveness too.

Be Flexible

I love me some routine, but I have also learned that as a mom you are FAR better off to go with the flow at times.  Being in a place where you can allow the schedule to change and you can adapt is truly important to helping your kids develop those skills.  If they see you freak out over and over with small changes, then they will learn to do the same.

Playing Matters More than Work

I admit, I still struggle with this area, especially as the work at home mom of two businesses. Whether you work from home or managing your home is your full time job, we all can relate.  My word this year is MARGIN, which means I need to carve out that time I need to enjoy all the other things that make life enjoyable.  Not just work.  I want to enjoy getting down on the floor with the Lego’s – even when it would not be my first choice. :-)

Be a Yes Mom

This is a Jill Savage saying and I love it.  Instead of always being the fuddy-duddy mom saying no to those messy projects or tasks that require just a bit more, why not say YES?  It will make your day a bit more interesting I am sure and give your kids a surprise!

Delegation is Good

In other words, it is okay to ask for help, not only ASK for help but be specific with what you need and who can do it.  This can entail your children helping around house to asking a friend to stop by the store for you.  When you reach out to ask for help it does not mean you are weak, it means you just could use some help right then.  Be willing to not only ask for help but offer it when you can as well.

Intentional Joy

There are days which are harder than others, but when I stop myself and decide to seek out the joyful parts and focus on those, my demeanor changes as well as everyone around me.  The mom is the thermostat of the home…. so be careful to choose Joy – seek out those things that lift your spirit and be intentional.  I have my secret weapon of JOY – and when I diffuse it in my family room it is amazing how everyone else’s attitude changes too!

Be Selfish

In other words, take care of yourself.  You need time to re-charge your mom battery for everyone’s sake.  You cannot take care of others when you are feeling exhausted,  worn out and completely drained.  I know this is a tough subject, but you are your best advocate, this sacred space you need will not just fall in your lap.  Be creative in ways you can nurture yourself.

Receive Grace

Out of all the secrets here, this is the biggest and hardest for a lot of us to receive is grace.  We are the hardest on ourselves…..never giving ourselves a break when we mess up.  I expect a lot of myself and I am my worst critic.  But I am learning, the the wonderful reminders of my husband to give myself grace.  Tomorrow is a new day and it sure is a glorious thing! 

Together in Hard Places

25
Nov
2014

Making the Best Yes Decisions 

I am in love with Chapter Seventeen, “The Very Best Yes,” in The Best Yes.

There have been so many great pieces to this book, really – so many, but as we close out the book study this week I am almost in dumbfounded awe of how this chapter is speaking to my worn out heart.

I am in a season where I am having to make some big decisions, decisions that may really make me sad, make others disappointed and honestly be life changing, but not necessarily positive.  It is a hard place to be in.

But as I read about Lysa and her sharing the experience with her daughter and the big heartbreak, it really brought me back to those times when I could barely function because of so much angst. I haven’t been in that place for a long time, but there are many times I get close to that place.  Do you know what I mean?

I shared a while back about a period of time when I struggled with hopelessness to a big degree and it was debilitating.  Those are hard times.  I’ve struggled with losing a parent, an in-law, putting one through alcohol rehabilitation treatment and a few other big events that can knock you down.  Life is hard, but I have to remember this, and I shared it yesterday:

“Together is a really good word.  Together is what we need when we hit tough patches in life.  Making decisions when life is making you cry shouldn’t be done alone.”

I am the first to admit, I am a loner and I like to do this myself.  I hate to ask for help.  This really struck me as well the other day on the Facebook page as one of the other moderators shared this definition of herself:

“As someone who can be a reclusive, overwhelmed introvert.”

I almost spit out my coffee – that is me!!!  Seriously!

And it’s not really all that great of a thing.  I try to do this thing called life on my own, even to the point of not letting my husband know a lot of those things that are bothering me.  It’s easier to just take care of it myself.  Wrong, I know.

So if there is one thing, ONE BIG THING I have learned in this book, it is this:

“In those moments when we feel swept away in a current of fast-moving feelings, we need to pause.  Wait.  Let someone else be there as a voice of clarity.”

And then this:

“Smart enough to know to pause and take extra time when life takes on extenuating circumstances that are hard.”

I want to tattoo that on my palms.

“When we can rise up on the wisdom of others and get a new view of our situations, our next steps seem a little clearer.”

I need relationships that are deeper, more frequent and more meaningful.  Period.  I honestly feel having those will help me with my Best Yes decisions.  Does that resonate with you too?

So as I wrap up this study and our time together, I want you to know how much I value you – those of you I may meet in person and many of you who I never will.  You make my life sweet and rich in ways that no one else can understand who does not have an online community.

I feel your presence as I write on the page of my blog and even when I am admitting things I would rather tuck away deep in my heart…. I do it anyhow, because I know you won’t make assumptions or accusations.  You are sweet and appreciative of me bearing myself with you and hoping that it may help another mom, somewhere out there who feels alone and hurt.

Please join us tonight for the LIVE Facebook chat at 6:15 PM Pacific time/ 9:15 PM Eastern time.  We will share, have some worship music and celebrate this journey together.  Thank you so much for coming along!

Week Six – The Best Yes

24
Nov
2014

 weeksix

We are on the final home stretch.   I know many have struggled to keep up with the reading, I so encourage you to at least read the chapters for the end to finish strong with us.  I will not lie…. I will be pushing myself to read the end of the book to get ready for my final blog post tomorrow as well as prepare for the Facebook Chat at 6:15 PM Pacific.

Get prepared for talk of insecurities, growth, togetherness and more.

This week we are reading Chapters 16-19 of The Best Yes.  

This quote touched my heart and almost made me cry (okay, I was having an extremely emotional day and it did make me cry!)

“Together is a really good word.  Together is what we need when we hit tough patches in life.  Making decisions when life is making you cry shouldn’t be done alone.”

Doesn’t that just nearly melt your heart?

I want to learn to be wise, seek wisdom from those who are further in the journey than myself and then share my experiences with those coming up behind me.

Join us tomorrow evening on the Facebook page for a fun time of sharing, refreshment and celebrating our last week of The Best Yes!  I’ll remind you one more time tomorrow during my blog post – but you can mark it on your calendar now.  :-)

FB chat-1