Trust Your Intuition
My biggest secret tops the list! So many moms are overwhelmed with trying to fit in everyone else’s advice and afraid of doing the wrong thing. I get it – it is a constant struggle. We feel we are under a microscope all the time. You were given unique gifts as a mother and the intuitive wisdom of moms is not an accident. I cover this more in my book, “Becoming the Confident Mom You’ve Always Wanted to Be.”
Counting to TEN is okay
Face it – we lose our tempers, unless you have exceptional control and temperament. I struggle with maintaining my calm when things get a little dicey. Over time I have learned to ‘stop the train‘, count to ten and then respond to the situation at hand, unless its truly an emergency. This has been so helpful for me and made for much happier days.
Do-Over’s are Encouraged
Okay, so I am not the perfect mom so I often will take a “do-over”. I believe they are totally fine for me as well as my children. We all mess up and when you have the chance to try again, it helps the learning process and gives opportunity for forgiveness too.
I love me some routine, but I have also learned that as a mom you are FAR better off to go with the flow at times. Being in a place where you can allow the schedule to change and you can adapt is truly important to helping your kids develop those skills. If they see you freak out over and over with small changes, then they will learn to do the same.
Playing Matters More than Work
I admit, I still struggle with this area, especially as the work at home mom of two businesses. Whether you work from home or managing your home is your full time job, we all can relate. My word this year is MARGIN, which means I need to carve out that time I need to enjoy all the other things that make life enjoyable. Not just work. I want to enjoy getting down on the floor with the Lego’s – even when it would not be my first choice.
Be a Yes Mom
This is a Jill Savage saying and I love it. Instead of always being the fuddy-duddy mom saying no to those messy projects or tasks that require just a bit more, why not say YES? It will make your day a bit more interesting I am sure and give your kids a surprise!
Delegation is Good
In other words, it is okay to ask for help, not only ASK for help but be specific with what you need and who can do it. This can entail your children helping around house to asking a friend to stop by the store for you. When you reach out to ask for help it does not mean you are weak, it means you just could use some help right then. Be willing to not only ask for help but offer it when you can as well.
There are days which are harder than others, but when I stop myself and decide to seek out the joyful parts and focus on those, my demeanor changes as well as everyone around me. The mom is the thermostat of the home…. so be careful to choose Joy – seek out those things that lift your spirit and be intentional. I have my secret weapon of JOY – and when I diffuse it in my family room it is amazing how everyone else’s attitude changes too!
In other words, take care of yourself. You need time to re-charge your mom battery for everyone’s sake. You cannot take care of others when you are feeling exhausted, worn out and completely drained. I know this is a tough subject, but you are your best advocate, this sacred space you need will not just fall in your lap. Be creative in ways you can nurture yourself.
Out of all the secrets here, this is the biggest and hardest for a lot of us to receive is grace. We are the hardest on ourselves…..never giving ourselves a break when we mess up. I expect a lot of myself and I am my worst critic. But I am learning, the the wonderful reminders of my husband to give myself grace. Tomorrow is a new day and it sure is a glorious thing!