Replacing My Pride with God’s Gentleness

29
Jul
2014

replace-pride-gods-gentleness

I have to admit, I will start this post by admitting, I like to be right.  I do not like to be wrong, and if I am wronged, I certainly like to make sure that no one can mistake that I was wronged.  

I deal with pride all the time.  It is ugly, I am not proud that I have to admit it, but at least I am aware and will admit. It is when we deny that things can turn really ugly.

“It’s more important for you to be in right relationship with others than to try to always be right.  Admit when you are wrong.” 

I would say I lived a lot of my life in arguments, holding grudges and wanting to prove myself to others and make them admit I was right.  I wasted a lot of time and certainly increased my anxiety and emotional exhaustion.  It just doesn’t work to always be looking to make others “see”.

I am so glad that God has been able to weave into my heart a new way of thinking. I am certainly not perfect and struggle, I will be the first to admit it.  But as I’ve aged and learned a lot of hard lessons about my actions and how I could have responded differently to different situations, I have grown.

I also admit I am not ‘clothed in gentleness’ really either.  That would certainly not be one of the first words someone would think of when they meet me.  I tend to be a bit more harsh on most things….I am a black and white person.   I have to be very intentional to offer grace in many situations where other people may automatically just give it.  (Boy, I am revealing a lot here on this page, ouch!).  But you know, I have grown and I am better than I was even a few years ago.

I can see this is both my marriage but even more so with my kids, especially my older kids.  I can see over the past 5-6 years that I have been able to be calm and collected when they come to me with an issue or problem.  I can remember when my 16 year old daughter came and had to tell me she got a speeding ticket, she was terrified.  She thought I would rant on to her about her mistake…..but I didn’t.  I just asked her what we were going to do about it, and we moved on from there. 

Being calm and gentle go hand in hand.

I can agree with this statement Sue makes, and I hope you can too, if not….I suggest you pray on how you can get to this place to be ‘safe’ for your kids.

“Hopefully, you have this place of trust and safety with all of your children.  They know that if they open up to you, you will not judge them or condemn them.”

That is success as a parent in my book.  I want my kids to know I won’t FREAK out and try to make MY point, when all they really need is a loving and accepting mom.  Full of compassion and grace.

Where do you struggle with pride?  What relationships do you find suffer because of that struggle?

9 Traits of a Life-Giving Mom – Week Nine

28
Jul
2014

Main-border-study

We begin week NINE of our journey reading Sue Detweiler’s book, 9 Traits of a Life Giving Mom: Replacing My Worst with God’s Best.  

I have loved reading through this book and examining the areas of my life that I can really use some BIG Holy Spirit intervention.  This week is no exception.  I admit, pride is something I deal with all the time.  I have shared about my pride issue here, here and yes ….here.  I find it interesting that it is a chapter in nearly EVERY single book we’ve studied here.  So, I guess I am not the only one who struggles.

Week Nine

Read  Chapter Nine – Replacing My Pride with God’s Gentleness

Trait 1:  Gentleness

I identified with this quote at the very beginning of the chapter:

“Pride hates to be inconvenienced.”

Yep, that is how I feel.  I have to be very careful and often it still gets the best of me.  I will share more tomorrow on how I don’t have it all together and certainly do not want anyone else to think that.

We are nearing the end of the study and things have gotten pretty quiet here on the blog. I hope you are still reading and even if you are not caught up on the chapters, I pray you will find the time to hop over and share in the Facebook group.  

Gentleness

 

(you will need to click through to the main blog to view the videos)

Chapter Nine Video

 

I will be back tomorrow with my thoughts as I read Chapter Nine and I’ll see you on the Facebook page!

Replacing My Fear with God’s Faithfulness

22
Jul
2014

God's-Faithfulness

Do you ever have dreams that cause fear, feelings of being unprepared and doubt?  I think reading this chapter has helped me really consider what my dreams may be really helping me uncover. I can often ignore or disregard them, but I think they are sometimes a way that God gets our attention.

This week Sue is sharing about fear and how it can effect our daily walk.

“It was fear of the unknown; fear of failure, rejection, financial lack, starting all over.”

Fear it certainly a weapon of the enemy and it can be very effective.  Today, as I was reading in “Wife After God” I felt this touch my heart and I knew that it was meant to be shared to help someone else.

“If you ever feel the weight of anxiety, depression, anger, fear, being overwhelmed, insecurity, unworthiness, or any other oppression that seizes your ability to function aptly, you must lean on HIM to receive the power of His peace.”

For myself, I tend to find fear sneaking in as anxiety in my life.  I am way more aware of this now, and can help myself control it with prayer and using essential oils in my life, so I am very grateful.  How do you push through times of fear?

Can you remember His times of faithfulness?  There are so many times in our lives that fear is present to signal God is about to move BIG in our lives.  I love that in those times I feel fearful, God is working to have me walk in His plan perfectly.  I can easily look back at my life and see times when I was feeling extremely fearful were just prior to BIG changes that ended up being just what God needed to carry us through at the time.

For me a few of these times:

Just before we said, “YES” to doing Foster Care 

Just before we signed on the dotted line to adopt a sweet little boy

Just before I quite my job of 20 years to follow God’s leading of coaching and encouraging mothers

Just before we stepped out to donate/tithe more each year than we had the year prior

Just as we got unbearable news of a loved one diagnosed with untreatable cancer 

Just when you know your child has made a very bad choice and you are going to have to make some decisions…..

It is all hard and life is tough.  But He is faithful.

What I leave with you today and what I will carry forward with:

“As a mom, the way to replace your fear is to embrace God’s faithfulness through the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Say it, pray it, let it sink in…..

9 Traits of a Life-Giving Mom – Week Eight

21
Jul
2014

Main-border-study

We begin week eight of our journey reading Sue Detweiler’s book, 9 Traits of a Life Giving Mom: Replacing My Worst with God’s Best.  

Faithfulness….one of the key pieces to our walk with God – He is FAITHFUL!  But why do we struggle so much having faith?  Feelings of fear and failure that can overwhelm and paralyze us.

“Fear is one of the most negative human emotions with many forms: anxiety, dread, uncertainty, and insecurity, just to name a few.”

Week Eight

Read  Chapter Eight – Replacing My Fear with God’s Faithfulness

Trait:  Faithfulness 

faithfulness

I will be back tomorrow with a quick post on my thoughts about Chapter Eight and will introduce some questions through out the week on the private Facebook page.  

If you haven’t printed out the prayers that are covered in the chapters click HERE on Sue’s website.  Here is this week’s one for Faithfulness.

(you will need to click through to the main blog to view the videos)

Chapter Eight Video

 

I will be back tomorrow with my thoughts as I read Chapter Eight and I’ll see you on the Facebook page!

Replacing My Manipulation with God’s Goodness

15
Jul
2014

Replacing-My-Manipluation-God's-Goodness

What a great chapter!  It is refreshing to read about parenting and realize I am not alone in the disappointments I have with myself and also my desire to do the right thing or be the best.  But striving for perfection will only bring disappointment.

Over the course of my parenting seasons, I have learned a lot.  (Remember, I have a 21, 17, 13 and 4 year old – oh BOY!)  I know my actions are extremely important and honestly, a lot of the time it is not so important what I say, but how I say it.  My body language speaks volumes and when I sit back and respond rather than react things go much better.

I am not sure I look for repentance in my children as much as I should.   In many situations, I am more interested in just getting them to do what I think they should do rather than it truly coming from their heart.  I was reminded in what Sue said, that “ultimately we are not the judge of what is completely right and wrong.  The Ultimate Judge is our parent.  Our loving Father in Heaven….”

I think many of us can fall into the spectrum of parenting, at least early on, where we are under this false idea if we do just the right things, then everything will be great.  I was certainly under this false pretense in the first few years of my parenting, but I can see how I have changed in both my approach and my expectation with my now 4 year old.

“Our teaching had moved from being grace-based and Spirit-leg to being fault-finding and condemning.”

When Sue shared this sentence in the chapter, I felt a twinge of guilt.  Yep…..I truly feel I am still working my way toward a more grace-based parenting method.  Do you feel that way too?  Curious what others think of their parenting strengths and weaknesses.  We all have them and we all will struggle with the “right” plan for our kids.

This chapter was a great reminder on how we need to re-evaluate our parenting every single day!  I think back to my ScreamFree Parenting training several years ago.  Most parenting methods are controlled or manipulative methods with our kids and honestly, is that really what we want?  No, we truly do want our kids to change their ways and learn to make better choices on their own, rather than us forcing it by manipulating and control.

Being open to learning and growing as parents is what God desires.  We are not perfect, we need to change and each of our children are different, we must adjust.  They challenge us beyond what we think we can bear, but He is there.

“He will show you times to be firm and times to show mercy.  At every moment of every day the fruit of His goodness is available to you.” 

I love that quote and I will be reminded to seek His will more often through out the day.  I admit, I am terrible at really asking Him for help during the day, or at least as often as I should.  I am a “do-et” and often just want to get through the moment, rather than slowing down to listen and hear from Him.

That is my focus this week, (I’ve made other realizations in the past, writing is a great way to come to conclusions for sure!) in the midst of the seemingly overly frustrated and exhausting…..I shall stop and ask Him to help me in the moment.