By Dana Bailey

So many times in our life we have acquaintances and that is all they ever are…just people you know of, but not about.  We watch others around us; how they live, how their children behave, how they react to others, but give little mind to who is watching us.

I became very aware of this recently when we moved away from a neighborhood we had lived in for more than 5 years.  Word spread quickly on our street that we were moving and our family began to hear from others who had observed our family without us realizing it. It is quite scary to think about now.

I think I was a horrible neighbor.  I didn’t know much more than my next door neighbors name.  She was a very private person and I tried very hard to not invade her privacy.  I didn’t even know the names of the people who were 2 doors up and the family across the street-we just waved each other.  Many of my children, on the other hand, knew more than names, they knew about our neighbors.  They knew where they went to church, how many times they had been married, how long they lived there, how often they wanted their grass cut and anything else they thought to ask.  My kids were great neighbors. Our son’s cut the grass for many, our daughter babysat for several of the families, our younger sons would help out however they could.

The week we were moving, our family was quite touched by the comments we heard from our neighbors.  Some actually came to our house to talk to us. People had observed our family in ways we didn’t realize and they were actually impacted in a positive way.

One mother had decided to homeschool her children after getting to know our kids.  Her child had struggled for years in school but didn’t know anyone one else who had successfully homeschooled their children until she met my kids. I guess my kids impressed her.

Another lady expressed deep concern for the kids on our street because she knew that our house was a safe place for the other kids to play and knew that our house, even though we already had a houseful, often had many neighborhood kids inside or in the back yard.

Remember the neighbor next door that was very private?  The night before we moved she came over and talked to us more than she ever had before.  She was sad we were going because she felt safe with us next door.  Our boys fixed her fence & trimmed her hedges.  She knew she could come over anytime she needed anything (and she did once).  She is a single lady with no family close by & appreciated having such a “great family” living next door.  She blew me away!  I didn’t think she liked us.  You just never know!

Scripture speaks of living in a way that is pleasing to the Lord and there are several reasons for that.

• It pleases the Lord!  Our lives are to be lived for Him anyway. We were created to know and glorify Him.

• Our children notice.  Do you want to teach your children how to be loving towards others?  Let them observe you being that way.  On several occasions my children saw me interacting with our neighbors, chatting or just listening to them. They learn from us.  I don’t really like my kids observing me, but that is just how it works.

• Others notice.  One neighbor noticed that every Wednesday at 5:00 p.m. we all left together and asked one of our kids where we went.  My son explained that we went to church and what we all did there.  That prompted a visit from the man’s wife asking about our church which opened an opportunity for me to talk to her about the Lord.  You just never know!

Because we are a big family (and getting bigger) I know that others watch our family.  I don’t always like it, but there is nothing I can do about it except live my life in a way that pleases the Lord.  In the end, what other think doesn’t matter to me, but what my Lord thinks does matter.

We are now in the “Christmas Season”.  This is a great time, as a family, to spend time together focusing on how we can live our lives in a way that is pleasing and glorifying to our Lord Jesus.  One thing our family likes to do is work our way slowly through the Christmas story in Luke, spending a lot of time on the prophecies in the Old Testament and comparing them with what actually happened in the New Testament.  We do a more focused study on the life of Jesus and come to a new understanding of how he wants us to treat others.

A few proactive things we do. We really like taking goody baskets full of baked goodies decorated with Scripture verses.  Something new we might try is “RACKing”.  RACK is “Random ACts of Kindness”.  We thought it would be fun to pay for someone’s food in the drive-thru line behind us or help an older person out with their groceries.  My kids came up with all kinds of fun ideas.  I bet your kids could too.

You just never know who is watching, but know that the Lord is always watching and that is really the only one who truly matters.   I have to admit, it was really fun and very touching to find out that our neighbors really did like us and have been positively impacted by our family.  Not everyone would like a family of 12 to move in next door.

I hope that in the coming weeks you are not only aware of the eyes of your Lord on your life, but also of the eyes of others on you and I hope that your eyes will be on the Lord seeking to please Him in all you do and say.

Ephesians 4:32,5:1, 15-16  “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.  Be imitators of God therefore, as dearly loved children.  Be very careful, then, how you livenot as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity,because the days are evil.”

Photo Credit

You Just Never Know is a post from: The Confident Mom

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By Natalie Chandler, MA, LMHC, LCAC

Unfortunately, for so many people, just hearing the words “Christmas” or “Holidays” produces stress and anxiety.  It is definitely the busiest time of year, filled with things that can create anxiety and stress. There is so much to focus on.

For a moment, let’s focus on relationships. When January rolls around do you wake up and see the man next to you (your husband) and say, “Who are you and where did you come from?” If so, you might be neglecting your relationship during the Holidays. It’s easy to do with so many obligations, commitments, and fun things to do.

Here are  a few helpful tips/reminders of how to keep up your relationship in the midst of the potential chaos:

1. Keep limits on your activities. It’s easy to feel like we have to do EVERYTHING! There are so many fun things that we want to do and many events that we are obligated to attend. However, it’s important when filling the calendar to decide as a couple or family how you want to chose to spend your time. I would encourage you to put it into 3 categories:

• Obligations/Commitments/ Important Family Events- For example, seeing family you visit one time a year, your son’s preschool program etc.
• Things we WANT to do- examples are seeing the Christmas lights at your favorite destination, going to see Santa, sponsoring a family in need, attending a Christmas Eve Mass. These are the things you enjoy.
• Events you feel you SHOULD do, but aren’t too thrilled about: examples going to the company Christmas party that you don’t have to attend, going to the neighborhood party that bores you every year, knitting socks for the people at work who don’t even wear socks! You get the point!

Then start weeding out things you don’t want to spend your time on. Insert the events you plan to attend on a  family calendar for everyone to see.

2. Talk about Finance   It’s easy to get carried away buying gifts during the Holidays. In January, couples often fight over how much money was spent. Sit down and set a budget for how much you can spend. Talk about gift giving as well as charitable contributions. Try to stick to the budget or talk about anything you wish to change once the budget is set. You will prevent fights in January.

3. In addition to how you are going to spend your time, decide how you will spend the actual days (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years Eve. Don’t assume because you did such and such last year that this will be the case again this year. Discuss who you want to (or don’t want to) have your days spent.  Come up with compromises. For example, if you spent Christmas last year with his side, you could spend Christmas this year with yours or vice versa. Don’t spread yourself too thin. You still want to enjoy the day. I know this is difficult with children because everyone wants to see them. If necessary, explain to relatives the importance of your children enjoying the Holidays and thowthis can be difficult to do with a lot of chaos. One decision my husband and I made when we started having children was to be at our home on Christmas Day. We did not want our kids to spend the day in a car traveling. It is hard because his family is out of state. That means they can’t see them on the actual day. But we feel it was important for our family to have a relaxed day and enjoy the true meaning of it. We love this tradition!

4. Don’t forget to spend time together! It may be difficult to actually have a date night or to get to a movie together. You may have to be creative and schedule an “at home date”. This is where you decide tn Friday night, after the kiddos are asleep, you are going to turn off the phones, computers, and TV if you choose and the two of you are going to do something fun together. Play cards, listen to music, eat together in the quiet, make cookies together. The point is to do something ,just the two of you, without distractions. This is actually great year-round. But especially during this month when time, finances, and babysitters are limited.

Hopefully this will help you keep unneeded stress away from your relationship this year. Remember, the Holidays are meant to pull families together, not pull us apart. Don’t forget your relationship with yourself, too! I think it’s time for a nice cup of tea, a warm blanket, a book, and a fireplace- with yourself!

Happy Holidays!

Photo Credit

Don’t Stress Out Your Relationship Over the Holidays is a post from: The Confident Mom

Have you signed up for - "The Opening Act - Becoming a Calm, Cool and Confident Mom."