When Self-Care is Non-Negotiable


I’ve been away from blogging for two weeks – remember me?  My last post shared about the essential oils I planned to bring on my international trip.  Well, I returned from said trip on Sunday, having had a much larger adventure than I planned.

I arrived in Venice with a pulsing finger, infected from an earlier simple procedure my dermatologist had done – a huge bummer to deal with while overseas, but I did come armed and prepared!  Then I began having digestive issues which became a much bigger issue and I spent two days in a Croatian clinic dealing with that (the entire experience will be a complete blog post, so stay tuned for that!).  

We returned to our cruise ship after a crazy day of “The Amazing Race” type travel to enjoy the last three days of the cruise and had a great time.

But on the day of return our flight was delayed, we missed our connection and had one more day away from home.  I was exhausted, worn out and depleted beyond what I could ever imagine.

Usually I tend to just ‘buck up’ and keep pushing when things get a bit tough.  My plan was to come back to blogging Monday – yes, three days ago…..but that didn’t happen.  I was tired and I needed some time to adjust back to normal life.  I was away for 13 days – crazy!

But here I sit, trying to ‘get back to normal’ and I am severely struggling.  41XVyWa4iyL

While I was away on my vacation I read the book,  “Nourished:  A Search for Health, Happiness, and a Full Night’s Sleep” by Becky Johnson and Rachel Randolph.  It was just what my mind needed to hear and my heart needed to have permission to feel.  I know see the timing of me reading this book, was not a by chance encounter, but a divine intervention.

So, instead of rushing back to a blogging schedule I am taking some time for self-care – to nourish my soul and get the rest my body was craving when I left on vacation, but certainly did not receive.  The saying, “I need a vacation from my vacation,” is certainly true for me this time around.

So I may be a bit infrequent here, but know I am caring for myself in ways I so encourage other moms to do, but rarely allow myself the grace to fit it in. 

I will be:

Sleeping when I am tired

Allowing God to speak to my worn out heart

Taking time to enjoy my kids during the first part of summer

Supporting and reviving my body – all naturally so it can serve me well  

Focusing on my marriage and being more intentional

Those are just a few of the things I will be more worried about than writing a blog post.  I am afraid if I don’t allow the time and space for my body to recover and fall in place, things could get rather ugly.

I love that word, Nourished.  I don’t know that I have ever even put it in the same sentence as myself – but for now….I am taking time to Nourish myself so I can be who God wants and desires me to be.

I’ll be back to share my adventure and some fabulous pictures with you too!

Replacing My Frustration with God’s Patience


Replacing-Frustration-God's-Patience Um, I really feel like I have no business even discussing this topic.  I am truly the most impatient person – EVER!  I do know that God is trying to build me in areas that I am not already proficient at though, by allowing me to stay in this role of motherhood a little longer, by the adoption of our youngest almost two years ago. I guess he felt I really needed more time to have the fruit of the spirit developed in me and allowing a beautiful little child who needed a home to help me work through it all.

“Being a mom can vacillate between the sweetness of hugs and kisses to feeling like you are in jail.” 

Do you feel like that sometime?  It is true, we can often feel trapped and helpless…..overcome by what our to-do list has on it and the lack of un-interrupted time we have to do it in.  We are exhausted and putting severe pressure on ourselves to be perfect.  UGH!  That perfection can drive us really crazy.  If we just gave ourselves some grace….some much needed grace. I related to Sue’s discovery that she was choosing to be frustrated.  I can let myself easily fall into the same pattern.  I can control my thoughts and when I allow frustration to seep in, it will quickly destroy the environment.  My day can go down the drain and my attitude goes to the gutter.  I am ashamed to admit that I can easily get really frustrated, impatient and sour. I have to learn the true meaning of sacrifice.  I am serving this beautiful family of mine and when I can remind myself of this and have THAT be the expectation I can keep my attitude in check, along with my patience.  But when I allow the daily grind to overcome the feelings of a servants heart, that is when things fall apart. Spending time with the Lord daily is KEY!  The days that doesn’t happen are days that begin to fall apart for me early on.  Also, Sue reminds us that building strategies and routines into our day can help us have a buffer zone that will hopefully prevent melt-downs – yes, those melt-downs of our own!   When we lose our patience and yell or scream, it is us who have the melt-down, no our kids.  As adults, we are called to be adults and learn to manage our emotions – truly something I am still learning to do.

“Sometimes it is the simplest of things that restore peace and order to a mom’s perspective.”

I need to make to sure build into my day little bits of time where I can find restoration in the midst of busyness and stress.  I like to make time to workout – that is a big stress reliever for me, so making this a priority is a must.  I especially love my routine right now with my Focus T25 – doing it first thing in the morning has it crossed off my list and feeling very accomplished!!   I also like to play soothing music at home and it can make a huge difference in my state of mind.  Having Pandora has been a life saver for me, I can pick from so many types of music easily and without a lot of trouble.  Making time for myself to eat is another one I have to be intentional about.  I know for us moms, we take time to feed our kiddos the best stuff, and often we skip meals or just eat the left overs.  Your body need nourishment and you need to make it a priority.  Being hungry is a trigger for me to become cranky and irritated very fast! What are your tips and tricks to having more patience in your day?

The Benefits of Being a Selfish Mom



Do you know your family is likely begging you to be more selfish?  Perhaps that seems a little far-fetched, but I do think it is true.

This thought came into my head last week as I was out for a 7 mile run, something that takes me a bit of time I will add!  This is usually a 2 hour commitment for me, with preparing to run, running, cooling down and showering, etc.  But you know what?  

I feel so much better when I give myself this gift, and I know I am much better with my family.

Perhaps even thinking of it as a gift may be wrong thinking.  It is a necessity.

So it has me thinking how often we moms make excuses that we don’t have time or can’t make the time to care for our own “seemingly selfish needs.”  I wrote a post a few weeks back on Not Being a Martyr Mom and I think this term Martyr comes into play in the same manner when it comes to caring for our own needs.  We like to kinda throw the “woe is me” card – or perhaps that it just me?

I have a choice each day, I can either play the victim and not take my needs seriously or I can be proactive and take charge of my time, my tasks and make the time to care for my needs.

What needs am I talking about?  The list is really endless, but for me it would entail – caring for my body in a physical way (running, strength training, a relaxing bath, pedicure, yoga, walks) caring for my spirit (daily quiet time, prayer, real quiet time with no noise and no “to-do” list, appreciating my blessings, journaling, writing).  That’s a start.

But I also know that depending on the season of motherhood it can be hard to get time, but it is oh, so important for you to do that.  When you do, do you know what happens?  Let me share with you what I know it does for me. 


I feel more rested and better about myself when I can take the time to care for my needs.  We sacrifice a lot – by choice, don’t get me wrong – motherhood is good, believe me, but it is OK to care for our needs too.  We do not always have to give, give, give and give more.  You are not created to run on fumes, so refueling our bodies is really necessary.


I find myself feeling refreshed and able to connect with my entire family more often when my needs are met.  I am more engaged in activities rather than trying to carve out any bit of silence and alone time, especially since I am an introvert.  I am happy to plan activities to share together – I am just plain more fun!  My entire family likes this, so came my question, “Do you know your family is begging you to be a selfish mom?”  They want you completely present, refreshed and energized, rather than just “there”.  Wouldn’t you agree?


You can get to a place where you learn to prioritize better, that is what I have found.  I know that things will run smoother when I take the hour to get some exercise or get up an hour early so I can sit quietly and read.  I know my body and I know what it needs.  I can then use those same principles to look at other areas in my life and manage them as well, whether tasks, time with my husband or writing obligations.  It is a balancing act and learning how to care for our needs is important.

Happy Mom = Happy Family

Honestly, the bottom line for me is, I know I am much more pleasant to be around when I step up to the plate and take care of myself.  When my body feels good, my spirit is fresh – I am much better able to handle those curve balls that come into play – you know exactly the ones I mean.

So what can you do today to gov yourself a break and be selfish?  I am sure your family will actually thank you for it! 

No More Perfect Moms Week FIVE



 Last week there really wasn’t a lot of conversation, so I am thinking either the topic was not a big one for most, or everyone was really busy and didn’t read!  It’s okay….I totally understand and won’t get my feelings hurt.

This week we are talking about our marriages.  Even if you are not married, I suggest you read the chapter – you just never know what insight and wisdom you may gain to help another friend who might be experiencing a hard time.  Isn’t it great we can be used in so many ways by God?

“You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.”      Sam Keen

Here is the agenda for this week:

{If you are viewing this post via email, you will need to click through to the website to view the video}


Week 5:  February 24 – 28, 2014

Monday – watch the video, download the discussion questions for WEEK FIVE  {I wanted a slice of that cake they were eating, it looked really good, especially with a cup of coffee!}

Tuesday – come prepared by having read Chapter Five, join the conversation

Wednesday – check in over at Facebook for a few questions – I will try to post a few through the day, but will be on a flight  {YIPPEEEEEE, can’t even hardly stand it excitement here – to Hawaii…..ahhhhhh, but will do my best – and yes, I will share photos!!}

Thursday – read the blog post on applying what we’ve learned this week; get started reading Chapter 6

Was there something that spoke to you in the video?  

What do you appreciate about your husband?

What have you learned over the years during your marriage?


Please share in the comments and hop over to the Facebook page.   

No More Perfect Moms Week TWO



I loved our first week together – so much conversation on the Facebook page and discovery.  The biggest one – that we all have the same thoughts inside our little heads – buzzing around.  Even though you may have thought you were the only one who had those thoughts, you are not alone.

Does this resonate with anyone?

“I think the word that often describes my day is feeling of inadequacy. I try so hard to do everything…. From cleaning to working out and mostly being mommy and a wife. Yet no matter how hard I try there is not enough time in the day and I always mis-manage my time. I hate the feeling when you have worked so hard on your home all day but feel like you missed playing with the kids. Finding the balance is so hard.”

 We all struggle with those same feelings  :-)

Here is the agenda for this week:


Week 2:  February 3 – 7, 2014

Monday – watch the video, download the discussion questions for WEEK TWO

Tuesday – come prepared by having read Chapter Two, join the conversation

Wednesday – check in over at Facebook for a few questions

Thursday – read the blog post on applying what we’ve learned this week; get started reading Chapter 3

Was there something that spoke to you in the video?  Please share in the comments and hop over to the Facebook page.  What have you enjoyed the most from this study so far?